I do apologize, again. Things have been so weird lately. And I am also not myself these past few weeks. I am drunk, as we speak. And I have been that almost every god damn day. And I am sick of being me, fucking hate it. I disgust myself. Life is just getting more complicated by the day. I don’t know what the hell I am supposed to do.

I am so sorry I haven’t been active lately. These past few weeks have been so busy and weird. Also my Nanna past away last night, so we’re grieving at home. I promise I will be on here again, daily. So I can answer all your questions as soon as possible and not let y’all wait for so long. Because that’s quite rude, because I promised I would be there, always. And I am. 

Note to self

You are a fat and weak bitch. 

You are not bothering me, so don’t worry :) I checked your BMI for you, and you are a little bit overweight for your age. But that’s no big deal! Because you are so young, you can loose weight very quickly. And if your family isn’t buying any healthy food, then it’s really important to talk to your parents. About how you feel about your body right now, and that you do not feel comfortable in your own skin. Go grocery shopping with them, pick the healthy stuff! Here’s an example of what your daily intake can look like:

Breakfast A smoothie with 2 oranges, a banana, broken flax seed and some frozen raspberries
Lunch Quark, with chiaseeds, raw nuts and raw cocoa
Dinner An oatmeal omelette (season it with some salt and pepper), grilled chicken, mushrooms and broccoli

I know that most ingredients in that list (like chia seeds, raw cacoa) are very expensive, so if you are not allowed to buy that, that’s alright! Just make sure you get your daily intake of veggies and vitamins! Also try to cut out bread and milk. Milk is for your digestive system and bread is because you do not need the carbs if you don’t work out. That’s why I cut that out of my diet as well! It’s very important to eat this healthy for at least a month, no cheat days. If your body is used to eating this healthy, you can have a cheat day once a week. It’s proven that it’s actually really good for your body! Here is a little article about that :) Also try to walk/ride your bike a little bit more. It’s not only good for your body, but also for the soul! Clear your head by walking a little bit after dinner, it will fasten your metabolism and also it’s really good for clearing your head. 

I hope this helps a little! If not, you can always send me a message :) Stay strong, beautiful!

Thank you, so so so so so much. This means a lot to me! Thank you, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Stay strong, my love! You are beautiful :)

Ah sweety, I am not! But thank you so much though :) I do eat, ofcourse, because your body needs it. How is a car supposed to work without any gasoline? It’s the same for your body. Since 3 months I only eat superfood, and that made my body change, a lot. I cut out bread and milk as well. If you want more information about superfoods or recipes, let me know! 

I honestly don’t know what I am supposed to do right now. I do not want to live in this hell hole anymore. I can’t move, because I am not making enough money to afford a place to myself. I can’t live with my girlfriend and her mom, because that means I have to get a job there and there are no jobs available. I do want to jump off a cliff, but there are no cliffs around and I do not want to leave my girlfriend, because she is my world. And I wanna discover the world with her, but the world is so fucked up that I am afraid to travel. All I want right now is a cabin in the woods or near the beach, with an internet connection, so we can watch Netflix all day or just listen to some music. Just me, my girlfriend and our baby’s. Her cat and my bunny. Cuddling and drinking tea. That’s all I want.